Serving, Bull-Dykes, and You.

So, in my profession, there is a appropriate way to deliver food to the table, and it is as follows:

Children first, then oldest to youngest woman, then youngest to oldest man.

Seems pretty simple right?

I thought so too. Apparently, that's not the case.

See, last night I was presented with a party of two. Two women, sitting very close to each other, enjoying the KU game on TV. One was.. well -- she wasn't particularly attractive, but at least she attempted femininity. The other? Dear sweet christ, this girl played with G.I. Joes, as a child. She probably wore a jockstrap too. I'm not the most manly man on the face of the planet, but this woman made me feel like a little bitch, just standing in her presence.

So that made me think: How does one handle the appropriate food delivery method?

Do you deliver to the "girl" first, then the dyke? Even though the dyke was obviously younger?

And if you DO deliver to the girl first, and the dyke has any experience in restaurants, will she be offended by you treating her as a man -- effectively blowing your tip?

In my case, I presented to the girl first, then the "man".. and it went alright. Strangely. I don't understand it, but hey.. what can you do?

----------------------------

Since its been awhile, I'll combine and tell you the story of the couple I had a few weeks ago.

The series of events went like this:

Man orders a double Captain and Coke. Woman orders Iced Tea.

I walk by the table and the dialogue between us got a little weird --

Him: She's pregnant!

Her: No I'm not.

Him: Yes she is! It's our first!

Her: Right....

Me: What does a server say in this situation?

Him: If you want a tip, you say congratulations!

Me: CONGRATULATIONS!

I mosey on over to another table, and talk to them for a bit. On my way back, I notice the man is almost done with his drink. Before I can ask him if he'd like another:

Him: Two more Captain and Cokes!

Me: You sure she's not pregnant?

Her: I'm drinking to celebrate not being knocked up.

Him: Oh she's pregnant as hell. That's why I'm getting her drunk.

What.

The.
Fuck.

Consequently, he bitched about the price of the booze when I delivered the check to him.

Asshat.